I'm saying yes this season, and I welcome every season that follows.
In September 2001 I made a decision that I needed to change my life. I did. That was point A.
For sixteen years I've been moving in what feels like repetitive circles to arrive at point B.
At first glance I have often thought, "Jen, really? This again? Haven't you picked this up, proclaimed it, then not seen it through enough times already?"
I may even worry what others think of me. That's one of the most exhausting things I've always done. I won't do it anymore.
If I've learned anything in the last sixteen years, it is that the bondage of SELF is a hell that we learn and ultimately that we choose.
A miracle might bring clarity. If it does we might get over our selves and be free from hell.
None the less. I cannot pull anyone out of that hell who isn't willing to leave it. I will not leave that hell if I continue to subscribe to the delusion that I have any power there.
I've had another miracle of clarity. All of the circles I've traveled, even when seemingly repetitive have been working on the INSIDE of me. My eyeballs have a new spirit behind them.
Old ideas of what this has all been about must die.
The leaves are falling, teaching me to let go.
I continue to consciously grow.
I am saying a very big yes this season.