accept or change

I thought I needed to do everything. I don't. What a relief.

Where do I end and you begin? How quickly do I recover when things don't go my way? These seem like very easy questions. Intellectually we all know that having 'boundaries' is healthy and self care is important and we ought to let others experience life that they may learn from it. We also know that life isn't fair and things happen without asking our permission. Intellectually many of us know this.

How many of us LIVE it? Do you walk that talk? If you are one of those who do, good for you! I'm still on this journey. I thought I'd mastered it, but it was all in my head. Literally.

You are a precious entity. You are a house for your soul and you ought to have a fence around your property. We have plenty of physical fences to keep people out or to keep sadness in; extra body weight, addiction, people-pleaser-behavior, perfect physique. All of these can be physical barriers to connecting on the level that we really need to look at. Our soul. Where does my SPIRIT end and your SPIRIT begin? As I learn this lesson I can begin to take life a little more easily.

I believe we are to help carry something heavy when someone is being crushed beneath its weight. I also believe there are things that only you can do, it's your job to do certain things and for me to do them for you under the guise of "helping you carry", I am actually stealing from you. I have no right to take from you the opportunity to grow.

Perfection is a delusion. It's not real. It may be like the North Star in that following it can lead you out of serious tangles. It is not a real destination. The finish line moves at the same rate your feet do. It is always the same distance from you. Unattainable.

Suppose that is TrUe. I believe it is, but maybe you are still striving. I'd ask what is the cost for that striving? Can you see the striving as a dependency? What if you let go of trying to get everything JUST right and you laughed when things change? What if you laughed at life for throwing a wrench in your plans?

What if you fully understood that people are the only way they can be in this moment per their particular circumstance? People, Life. They may never be what you want them to be and you have no control over that. If your head is arguing with you as you read this, know that it's arguing for delusion. We are now powerFUL when it comes to creating inner change for others, nor are we powerFUL when it comes to life doing what it will.

A favorite book of mine (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions) says on page 21, "We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built."

Happy and purposeful lives are built on firm bedrock of knowing that I'm not the Boss of the World. LOL. That kills me. Life gets good when I can get over myself and laugh.

I wanted people to "get it", to "understand" and I wanted circumstances to carry me like a moving sidewalk to the destination I chose. People won't get it, until they do. Me? I won't get there until I realize that HERE is the only THERE there is. Accept what is, take action to shift your attitude about what is. Move your feet to influence something in a constructive way. Otherwise, sit still and breathe. Or laugh.

I thought I needed to do everything. I don't. What a relief.

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