Am I your biggest fear?

By Charlie Lewin | GUEST BLOGGER


artwork at www.charlielewin.com

Am I your biggest fear?

Because you taught me to think

But don’t allow me to ask

You want me to share things;

But then take me to task

That I would be the apple in the box

The one that turned sour?

You wanted a bouquet,

but you only got a flower…

Do I disturb your sensibilities

Or ruin all your plans?

You keep on chasing bubbles in the wind

Expecting them to land

Or do I mess up

your perfect vision of a perfect home

Because you ordered precious diamonds

but had to settle with stones.

And Do i rattle

All your ‘safe spaces’

where your locks and chains are bolted

Onto your shiny golden cages

Is that your biggest fear?

It’s really easy not to see

a reflection of your flaws

when you cover up the mirror

With tinfoil and gauze

Can we be real for a minute

Are all your fears your own

Or are they parroted

From what you heard at home?

Your fears are a learned process

Embedded at a very young age

So when you look in the mirror can you see?

That the mirror is your cage

And let's just talk about what constitutes fear?

is it your fear of association

With things you are told that should be left alone

Or is it your fear of the future

Because it’s unknown

Am I your biggest shame?

Don’t say you’re a liberal

When clearly you’re not

The only things that you can see

Is what you haven't got.

You don’t see me

You wont stop and pause,

You don’t see my kindness

You only see my flaws

What is it about me that scares you?

Is it that I refuse to conform, to fit into your box?

But the box is small

The box is square

I am round; not square at all

The first thing you do is label me

Drug addict, bad influence, troublemaker, lazy,

You tell me I am worthless

That there’s no place in this world for people like me

That I’m a waste of space

I’m unloved unwanted and you wish I was never born

The next thing you do is cut me off

Don’t give me a chance to explain

That I’m hurting

I’m confused

I’m in pain

What is it about me that irks you so much?

What happened to harden your heart

That you would abandon your own child

because they chose a different path

Am I your biggest fear?

Am I your greatest dread?

Am I your secret monster

You would rather be dead?

Who am I if not a product of you?

____________________________________________________


Charlie's Visual Art Website
She's featured in the next episode of my podcast, JUST SAY IT, to be released Oct 10, 2020

© COPYRIGHT  |  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  |  Jen SluMac  |  soulnotskin  |  2016 - 2021

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VENMO: @soulnotskin

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