Am I your biggest fear?
By Charlie Lewin | GUEST BLOGGER
Am I your biggest fear?
Because you taught me to think
But don’t allow me to ask
You want me to share things;
But then take me to task
That I would be the apple in the box
The one that turned sour?
You wanted a bouquet,
but you only got a flower…
Do I disturb your sensibilities
Or ruin all your plans?
You keep on chasing bubbles in the wind
Expecting them to land
Or do I mess up
your perfect vision of a perfect home
Because you ordered precious diamonds
but had to settle with stones.
And Do i rattle
All your ‘safe spaces’
where your locks and chains are bolted
Onto your shiny golden cages
Is that your biggest fear?
It’s really easy not to see
a reflection of your flaws
when you cover up the mirror
With tinfoil and gauze
Can we be real for a minute
Are all your fears your own
Or are they parroted
From what you heard at home?
Your fears are a learned process
Embedded at a very young age
So when you look in the mirror can you see?
That the mirror is your cage
And let's just talk about what constitutes fear?
is it your fear of association
With things you are told that should be left alone
Or is it your fear of the future
Because it’s unknown
Am I your biggest shame?
Don’t say you’re a liberal
When clearly you’re not
The only things that you can see
Is what you haven't got.
You don’t see me
You wont stop and pause,
You don’t see my kindness
You only see my flaws
What is it about me that scares you?
Is it that I refuse to conform, to fit into your box?
But the box is small
The box is square
I am round; not square at all
The first thing you do is label me
Drug addict, bad influence, troublemaker, lazy,
You tell me I am worthless
That there’s no place in this world for people like me
That I’m a waste of space
I’m unloved unwanted and you wish I was never born
The next thing you do is cut me off
Don’t give me a chance to explain
That I’m hurting
I’m confused
I’m in pain
What is it about me that irks you so much?
What happened to harden your heart
That you would abandon your own child
because they chose a different path
Am I your biggest fear?
Am I your greatest dread?
Am I your secret monster
You would rather be dead?
Who am I if not a product of you?
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Charlie's Visual Art Website
She's featured in the next episode of my podcast, JUST SAY IT, to be released Oct 10, 2020