God as my filter

What is the purpose of delay? What is the value of my pain? What is the Truth hiding in my great discomfort?

God is wisdom. When I ask for clarity in prayer and meditation, God gladly serves as my filter to the world's noise.

What is the purpose of delay? What is the value of my pain? What is the Truth hiding in my great discomfort?

Ask God what is true

As a woman who loves big and has always been tremendously sensitive to the world and its energies of both Love and Fear, I have spent much of my life 'uncomfortable in my skin'. I could sense the pain behind the smile, the fear behind the reassurance, the doubt behind the certainty. I learned to let it be in the world around me but it has never sat right with me.

I learned that it wasn't helpful to speak of what I sensed. My observations often made people, who were desperately trying to behave well, even more uncomfortable. People would turn away or tell me to be quiet. So I spent years trapped in coping mechanisms to survive within community that didn't feel like it fit.

Here's what I've learned. We are all more uncomfortable at times than we appear. We are all doing the best we can. For human beings, fear is a natural response to that which challenges the comfort zone, which is jargon for 'perceived safe place'. We need each other in so far as we thrive in healthy interpersonal community. But we need God to align ourselves with the courage to live from a place that promotes a greater good. The Ego fights to maintain its comfort zone which often impedes the comfort zone of others.

We have a God who has prepared a comfort zone that we can all find peace within, but we must ask God who God is rather than trusting humans who claim to know... because it is human to invest in being right to protect the comfort zone.

The war is between Truth and people claiming to know it. As with the War on Drugs, the War on Crime and other manufactured conflicts, there is no winning these delusional, constructed wars. Anything fueled by FEAR cannot be a solution.

Only LOVE can resolve the silos we've created. Not mushy love that kisses cheeks and makes the heart flutter. Bigger Love. Love that expands each of our comfort zones to be large enough to welcome in that which makes us uncomfortable. Love that Courageously expands our comfort zone to include the discomfort of honoring the journey of others.

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“Here is what we seek: a compassion that can stand in awe at what the poor have to carry rather than stand in judgment at how they carry it.” ― Gregory Boyle

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Ask God what is true. Ask God for the Courage to live with compassion. There is Love in Compassion.

Love that witnesses and walks with. Love does not judge.

#prayer #meditation #queer #itgetsbetter